The Art of Small Talk

Practicing patience and tolerance is an important tool to manifest temperance and peace in your life. Beyond your personal preference, whether you socialize as an introvert (often characterized as being quiet or withdrawn) or an extrovert (being outgoing and socially confident) don’t be fooled. Understand, under the right circumstances any personality may exhibit another side (opposite of what’s expected). With that being said, it should be clear why the saying goes you can’t judge a book by its cover. If you did you may miss out on something great by assuming based on outward observations alone. So, let’s take a look at a few tactics to help you reach and land an open-ended conversation.

How to Spark a Non-Invasive Conversation:

Its common and very rewarding to identify people through a brief social media internet search. Most people expect it. However, when meeting people face to face it’s important to take a different approach. Usually, it requires a strategy, an open mind, and an interested disposition. Most of us may have to practice. Depending on your hobbies and social circles you may have to rely less on their social profiles and more on your ability to manage talking points.

The Art of Small Talk

Here’s the scenario. You’ve just arrived at an event held at a well-known museum. It’s a social mixer filled with various professionals and cultural enthusiasts.

Start with the basics:

Read the room.

Imagine you're a journalist. Did you forget about the 5W’s? Find the perfect moment to smile make eye contact and go in with the Who, What, Where, When, and Why’s of attending. Talk about the venue, the traffic, etc. It’s an open opportunity to create conversation that’s effortless and open ended.

Pull from the obvious.

Proceed with caution when using this strategy. It can allow you to take the conversation out of shallow small talk and introduce a little more substance. This is where you can comment on things a person has brought up during your conversation by sharing your thoughts, respectfully. However, if you’re a novice don’t mask yourself to be a know it all. The interaction my fall flat if you don’t know how to keep up. So, just keep it real (as in realistic) and I’m sure they’ll help you fill in the blanks throughout the conversation.

Give a compliment.

This can be done by complimenting something about the event or directed towards an individual. When done correctly, it shouldn’t be offensive. For example, if you're ready to socialize with others a great segway phrase is, “It was such a pleasure talking to you. You're really informed, I hope to continue this conversation a little later before the exhibit starts”. You’ll find the right words when the time comes.

Do you have anything in common.

You should never get too personal with strangers. Afterall, boundaries are important. Peoples personal boundaries may differ from your own and may not be obvious to the unassuming. Thats okay. Just roll with it by sparking a non-invasive conversation. Gradually work your way through several open-ended talking points and allow the individual to share at will whatever they feel comfortable with sharing and hopefully it won’t get too awkward. But, if it does stay on your toes and politely change the subject.