Our Personal Journey and Our Parents

Parents are presets. There is no way to alter what was inherited. Yet, with each generation or passing year we have the opportunity to grow and learn more about our past through the people who have provided a pathway through their choices. To accept that is the greatest gift. In some ways, it can also be the most intimidating opportunity because it requires us to see ourselves through their aspirations and intentions. The more we absorb about our parents the more we learn about who we are, and in some cases why we are different. However, the story is better learned. We deserve to know ourselves in truth. Preferably, the exact truth.

Taking time to unlock layers of inherited traditions, identity, and world perceptions can be somewhat unnerving. Challenging who you are in the world is sport. But, altering your position with in your family dynamic can be down right frustrating. Living up to expectations. Overcompensating for predisposed notions (to justify our parent’s ideal perception of who they believe us to be as their children) is as close to unconditional love as some of us will ever know. Convoluted, complex, and slightly rewarding for both sides.

Being open about your personal journey is great. Being available to hear and learn about our parents and their individual journeys can also be great. So, be open to receive the rewards of discovery. Sometimes they’re big. Sometimes they’re small. And sometimes the unnecessary details require our undivided focus to ensure that we catch the little things that may at times inspire us the most. As we continue to fight the good fight of true identity as self-identity (and not living life as our parents) we must remember to respect, honor, and love in the legacy we were assigned to build on.

The Art of Small Talk

Practicing patience and tolerance is an important tool to manifest temperance and peace in your life. Beyond your personal preference, whether you socialize as an introvert (often characterized as being quiet or withdrawn) or an extrovert (being outgoing and socially confident) don’t be fooled. Understand, under the right circumstances any personality may exhibit another side (opposite of what’s expected). With that being said, it should be clear why the saying goes you can’t judge a book by its cover. If you did you may miss out on something great by assuming based on outward observations alone. So, let’s take a look at a few tactics to help you reach and land an open-ended conversation.

How to Spark a Non-Invasive Conversation:

Its common and very rewarding to identify people through a brief social media internet search. Most people expect it. However, when meeting people face to face it’s important to take a different approach. Usually, it requires a strategy, an open mind, and an interested disposition. Most of us may have to practice. Depending on your hobbies and social circles you may have to rely less on their social profiles and more on your ability to manage talking points.

The Art of Small Talk

Here’s the scenario. You’ve just arrived at an event held at a well-known museum. It’s a social mixer filled with various professionals and cultural enthusiasts.

Start with the basics:

Read the room.

Imagine you're a journalist. Did you forget about the 5W’s? Find the perfect moment to smile make eye contact and go in with the Who, What, Where, When, and Why’s of attending. Talk about the venue, the traffic, etc. It’s an open opportunity to create conversation that’s effortless and open ended.

Pull from the obvious.

Proceed with caution when using this strategy. It can allow you to take the conversation out of shallow small talk and introduce a little more substance. This is where you can comment on things a person has brought up during your conversation by sharing your thoughts, respectfully. However, if you’re a novice don’t mask yourself to be a know it all. The interaction my fall flat if you don’t know how to keep up. So, just keep it real (as in realistic) and I’m sure they’ll help you fill in the blanks throughout the conversation.

Give a compliment.

This can be done by complimenting something about the event or directed towards an individual. When done correctly, it shouldn’t be offensive. For example, if you're ready to socialize with others a great segway phrase is, “It was such a pleasure talking to you. You're really informed, I hope to continue this conversation a little later before the exhibit starts”. You’ll find the right words when the time comes.

Do you have anything in common.

You should never get too personal with strangers. Afterall, boundaries are important. Peoples personal boundaries may differ from your own and may not be obvious to the unassuming. Thats okay. Just roll with it by sparking a non-invasive conversation. Gradually work your way through several open-ended talking points and allow the individual to share at will whatever they feel comfortable with sharing and hopefully it won’t get too awkward. But, if it does stay on your toes and politely change the subject.

Vacation and Relaxation

Often times our inner voice reminds us of the things that are most important. Although task building and strategizing are essential tools of the growth matrix, we must never detach ourselves from the bigger picture. The truth is, although the frame is standard, the photo is different and the picture itself tells a unique story that builds a narrative based on who we are or working to become. Life creates hundreds of little moments. We should all work to maintain the memory of those special moments that remind us of what matters most. The beauty of it all is that this is a unique and individual experience. Have you ever felt booked, busy and out of balance? If so, your not alone. Some may have even felt powerless. However, with summer upon us there is an open opportunity to take back a little of your time to structure some guilt free fun.

Creating memories are easy but vacation and relaxation retreats require a little structured planning. Before you book a random get away refresh your memory and remind yourself where you last left off on your personal bucket list. Determine if you have enough time and 2 good friends that are available to join you on your journey. Always be responsible and don’t forget to check-in and turn in any deliverables prior to leaving home and taking time away from any work-related duties. The objective is to leave with everything in order and to reduce stress upon return. Depending on your work schedule or lifestyle, that might be easier said than done. Don’t panic. Remember, overthinking leads to less personal time to build on special intimate moments. When in doubt, just do your part and trust the rest to work out.

Every beauty needs to rejuvenate. Take the opportunity to do you and work on rebuilding that inner connection to self. Focus on what you want. Work on mastering your inner glow and create some new memories with a snapshot to share and take with you on your ever growing journey.

Fight the Urge to Quit or Feel Discouraged

If you find yourself functioning in a state of performance-based tasks but no longer impressed with the rewards, fight the urge to quit or feel discouraged. Sometimes being busy communicates visibility more than balance and can be counterproductive. Afterall, how effective can you be if your bucket list of goals continues to grow without the support to sustain the progress of what has already been accomplished? Instead focus on your potential by engaging your imagination. Take your mind off the work and change your perspective.

Place your attention on innovation, relationship building, and planning. All 3 require you to have an open and approachable disposition. Creative ideas are what you may need to renew your energy toward a task or project. Remember, as the saying goes, “there is no I in team”. So, start finding ways to reintroduce yourself and don’t start the conversation by reiterating your resume. The more people you relate to the more realistic your goals will become. Great fortunes come to those who thoughtfully plan ahead. Consider the advantages of strategizing to broaden your network of support.

Observe new ways of doing things to make yourself more effective. Adapt and move forward. Learn and grow along the way without fear. Develop your ability to obtain personal growth.

Building Confidence

Confidence is key, but it takes more than determination and grit to achieve greatness. The loudest voice is the one that stays with us the longest. The voice may have a familiar tone outside of your own recognizible voice. Self-image is not the only image that influences our growth potential. It’s also the environments in which we function and the relationships we cultivate. People pleasers often experience the not so subtle side-effects of codependence. However, many people struggle with establishing boundaries. It’s important to identify your individual needs by acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses.

Building confidence takes time. It’s important to learn personal development skills that facilitate positive self-talk by doing research and finding trusted resources that can build on your growth potential. Finding people that embrace the best version of yourself will help you achieve success in more than one area of your life. Get comfortable with constructive criticism because when used correctly, it can become a great asset to building a strong foundation. However, stay clear of negative self-talk. Especially in business. Making evolved choices requires being open to seeing things from a wider scope. Sometimes, it takes time to evolve. But whenever you’re ready, know you’ll never be alone. Check out some interesting fun facts from UN Women as you ponder over new possibilities that push you into the next level of self-love, growth, and a goal balanced evolution as you learn the value of establishing your voice.